Cattniss

The importance of emotional intelligence is sometimes diminished or underestimated due to misconceptions or myths surrounding it. Emotional intelligence is not saying every mistake you make is okay, or not being able to work that hard because you need a lot of breaks. To me, emotional intelligence means intelligently managing your emotions to navigate life. Today I want to tell you a small action you should be doing after you’re finished with any task,

Congratulate yourself every time you progress; it doesn’t matter if you didn’t finish. Congratulate yourself on messy consistency even.

I used to envision myself working on a focused 4-hour block. When I did, I felt on top of the world. Sometimes I couldn’t do a perfect 4-hour block because of life, emergencies, dependency on others—you name it. And when I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to fulfill that perfect four-hour block, I didn’t work at all. But it is better to work messily but consistently than not work at all.

Let’s say Betty and Walter want to finish a 100-page book. Both set a goal of reading 20 pages every day so they can ideally finish it in five days. Both take 25 minutes to read 10 pages, right?

Day 1:

Both Betty and Walter read 20 pages.

Betty: 20/100 Walter: 20/100

Day 2:

Let’s say, due to a family gathering, homework, work, chores, errands, Betty and Walter are not going to be able to read 10 pages in the hour they’ve established; they only have 7 minutes to read.

Betty decides to read in those 7 minutes she has; she reads 4 pages.

Walter decides to read once he has his full time available so he can read his 20 pages entirely. Meanwhile, he checks social media. At the end of the day, it’s only 7 minutes.

Both Betty and Walter came home late and were too exhausted to do anything. Betty read only 4 pages that day; Walter read nothing because he is a perfectionist.

Betty: 24/100 Walter: 20/100

Day 3:

They were both swamped that day, and both read nothing

Betty: 24/100 Walter: 20/100

Day 4:

Life happens again, and Walter and Betty had only 13 minutes for reading.

Betty reads 10 pages.

Walter does not read anything because he needs his full 25 minutes to focus.

Betty: 34/100 Walter: 20/100

Day 5:

They both read 20 pages, finally:

Betty: 54/100 Walter: 40/100

Betty feels encouraged because she is halfway through. Walter realizes that he won’t have a full 20 minutes to reread the book tomorrow, which makes him feel unmotivated.

Day 6:

Betty and Walter have only 10 minutes. Betty reads 7 pages; Walter reads nothing because he needs his 25-minute block; otherwise, he is not entirely focused.

Betty: 61/100 Walter: 40/100

Day 7:

Betty and Walter have only 15 minutes. Betty reads 10 pages, Walter reads nothing because he needs his 25-minute block. Without the full time, he won’t get the total silence he needs; he’ll read when he can have those 25 minutes.

Betty: 71/100 Walter: 40/100

Day 8:

Betty and Walter have only 15 minutes again. Betty reads 10 more pages, Walter reads nothing because he needs 25 minutes. After three days without reading, Walter stops seeing the book as a priority and starts to forget about it.

Betty: 81/100 Walter: 40/100

Day 9:

Betty and Walter have 8 minutes. Betty reads 6 pages. Walter reads nothing and eventually forgets about the book.

Betty: 87/100 Walter: 40/100

Day 10:

Betty and Walter have free time. Betty finishes the book, but Walter reads nothing because he forgot about it.

Betty: 100/100 Walter: 40/100

Walter gets discouraged and feels he is not a good reader; he blames his abilities and categorizes himself as a small reader. He thinks he never accomplishes his objectives, not even reading a simple book in five days. Walter is hard on himself subconsciously, and now he is unmotivated.

Betty realizes that even though she didn’t finish the book in five days, she kept going and is happy with the progress she made. She finished the book, maybe not in five days, but she thrived as best as she could with the time and circumstances she was given.

They both continue their lives. Walter creates a complicated relationship with reading (little does he know the complex relationship is with himself). Betty continues reading and finds more useful books about business, which are beneficial for her job. Betty reads 20 books that year; Walter doesn’t finish one.

Lessons from Betty and Walter:

1.You cannot control every outcome in life, so use the small moments to move forward toward your objectives.

2.Betty worked in a realistic way—realistic with life, realistic in a world in which we share time with others and circumstances, whether it is family, your boss, traffic, the coffee shop that took twice the expected time to give you your coffee on a random day, your bike getting stuck somewhere, your son needing to be picked up from school, or your classmates or coworkers taking longer to finish their part of the job. Betty moves forward with life.

3.As we can see, Walter has many excuses and thinks that if he didn’t have perfect circumstances, his reading wouldn’t be helpful. Perfectionism is a form of cruelty toward yourself. Perfectionism is expecting and placing the weight of being perfect and having absolute control in a life that isn’t.

Can you control time at your will?

No, so:

4. Being a perfectionist = IS LIVING IN A FANTASY.

5. We need to celebrate progress, not just finishing.

When we think about «big» achievements: getting into a particular university, landing the dream job, making $200,000 in a month, closing a huge contract. We tend to reward ourselves only at the finish line.

But when we think like that, we’re aiming at a goal that is still very far away.

Why? Because to reach that giant moment that gets celebrated publicly, the one everyone applauds, there is an enormous amount of work happening behind the scenes.

If you don’t recognize that invisible work, procrastination slips in easily. That’s why acknowledging your effort matters.

When you make a small step forward, don’t wait for everyone else to celebrate you. Celebrate yourself.

Because chances are, when you finish that task, submit that assignment, or save even five dollars consistently, little by little, no one is going to throw a party for you. People usually only see the final result.

But the final result is not magic. It’s the compound effect of all those small efforts you made before.

So if you want to stay motivated and focused, and, most importantly, to value yourself, you have to recognize your own progress. Trust me, this has an entirely transformative effect on your work.

Maybe when you read your daily five pages of that book that is going to be beneficial for the project you are working on, your mom is not going to start crying and clapping. That is when you step in and remind yourself how valuable what you are doing really is.

Your mom is going to cry the day you buy her her dream home with the money that the project generates. But for you to be able to create that outcome, you need that book and many more small steps along the way.

And this is where emotional intelligence comes in.

Celebrate yourself for moving forward. Thank yourself for moving forward. Even if it’s just a quiet thought, don’t finish your day without acknowledging it.

For example:
«I finished this small effort. Okay, I’m closer now. Thank you, Richard, for showing up today, for making this small but meaningful change. I see you. I acknowledge you.»

Or:
«I read two pages of this book that will help me with my project. Thank you, Eleanor, for reading those pages. You’re doing an incredible job. I see you, and I admire you.»

Because the real transformation doesn’t happen on the day of the applause. It happens on all those quiet days when you choose to move forward.

Homework: Congratulate yourself every time you progress; it doesn’t matter if you didn’t finish. Congratulate yourself on messy consistency even. Do not sugarcoat things, but be realistic and do not punish yourself; that is also emotional intelligence. Evaluate your actions, fix them if you messed up, and congratulate yourself every time you progress.

-Valeria Salazar Pinto

12/25/2025